Tired, Exhausted, Sleepy, Emotionally Drained. The list goes on. Sound Familiar?
Today I find myself fighting an ever so familiar battle and I am just so. freaking. tired.
You know, as moms, we read all the books on parenting. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Babywise every chance I got when I had babies. I would read Your Preschooler and Toddler Books and How to Potty Train in a weekend books when the kids were 2 and 3.
When I felt like my parenting really sucked, I would look for that book, "Your Parenting Style Sucks, How to change You". :)
But Seriously, looking at all the books in my office:
Bringing Up Boys
Bringing Up Girls
Dare To Discipline
The Strong willed Child
The Internationally Adopted Child
Parenting isn't for Cowards
Shepherding a Child's Heart
One would think I should be awesome at this parenting thing, right? I DID read all the books, right? I think I did. I mean over the course of 11 years I am pretty sure I have completely read at least one book all the way through.
You see being a mom brings you into the most exhausting of circumstances...consistency!
What do I mean by this? You will CONSISTENTLY have to deal with fits, disobedience, lying, talking back, and fighting. The consistency is the irony that there are no easy days. No sick days or vacation days or mommy wants to crawl in a hole days.
For example, just a few hours earlier, my mother in law was coming to get my kids to take them to a big Fall carnival at their church. Might I add, she is an awesome MIL. The kids have been so excited and honestly, so have I because I wasn't going with them! I would stay home. Alone. In my quiet home.
All is going great. Home from school, homework done, kids happy, mommy happier until......
One kid screws it up. Lets be real, sometimes all 5 darling angels, screws things up.
But today it was one. That one child that is going to mess up your 2 hour retreat of peace. It's like they know something is going good for mom.
"hmmmm, mom seems a little too happy about us leaving and getting some much needed alone time for a few hours, maybe I could help change that".
Disciplining really stinks when it affectsus, the parents, and it most always does.
Wills made a D on his report card? I guess he is grounded all weekend and will have to spend every waking hour whining to us.
Owen can't watch TV because he disobeyed, so that means he will more than likely say he is bored constantly and break things.
So back to tonight. I am now at home with a 4 year old (Avery) who is in trouble because she didn't tell the truth. She flat out lied and lied and then lied again about lying. And without going into every detail of the 45 minute excruciating long battle of getting her to finally tell the truth... lets just say it was NOT fun.
Truth: We have disciplined each child the same; in that, we had the same expectations of behavior for each one.
Truth: What worked for one child for punishment did not necessarily work for another.
I remember the days when Owen was younger. He did not care one bit about time out. But, he did care if I took his favorite toy away for a few days.
But with Kate, I could mention the word Spanking and that was the end of any sort of behavior problem.
They are all so different and have each given this mom a run for her money and suitcase so that I could actually really run...far away.
Back to being emotionally exhausted and Avery. You see when you are that tired (5 kids from age 4-11), you just don't care how long they have to sit in time out. I view it as more alone time for me. Tonight, Avery refused to tell me the why of why she didn't get to go to the party, so I left her in time out until she did. You know how long it took?
1 hour and 12 minutes. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I CAN DO IN 1 HOUR AND 12 MINUTES?
In my beginning mommy days, I used to stress about the crying and screaming temper tantrums and the throwing of their limp bodies all around, but now I just step right over the lifeless body and continue on my merry way.
Tonight, I took a shower. A long hot one! I stayed in long enough to shave my legs without anyone coming in to watch me through the steamy door.
I guess my point is, the books are right. If it was easy, they wouldn't have to write a bazillion books on parenting and we could read real literature like 50 Shades of Gray or SHAPE magazine.
I am going to take a gamble and guess that every single mom out there has felt like throwing the towel in when it comes to the same child doing the same behavior over and over and over. We are all in the same Groundhog movie together. One day, your efforts will pay off. One day it won't be Groundhog Day, it will be a new groundhog day with a new battle. Perseverance and consistency will pay off. It has to!
I am holding onto the hope, and I mean I am really holding onto it, that my efforts, my consistency and mydrinking faith will get me through the next 15 years. That my efforts to discipline each unique child (in love) will not be in vain., because it sure is an exhausting feat and I sure am one tired mom, right along side you.
Today I find myself fighting an ever so familiar battle and I am just so. freaking. tired.
You know, as moms, we read all the books on parenting. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Babywise every chance I got when I had babies. I would read Your Preschooler and Toddler Books and How to Potty Train in a weekend books when the kids were 2 and 3.
When I felt like my parenting really sucked, I would look for that book, "Your Parenting Style Sucks, How to change You". :)
But Seriously, looking at all the books in my office:
Bringing Up Boys
Bringing Up Girls
Dare To Discipline
The Strong willed Child
The Internationally Adopted Child
Parenting isn't for Cowards
Shepherding a Child's Heart
One would think I should be awesome at this parenting thing, right? I DID read all the books, right? I think I did. I mean over the course of 11 years I am pretty sure I have completely read at least one book all the way through.
You see being a mom brings you into the most exhausting of circumstances...consistency!
What do I mean by this? You will CONSISTENTLY have to deal with fits, disobedience, lying, talking back, and fighting. The consistency is the irony that there are no easy days. No sick days or vacation days or mommy wants to crawl in a hole days.
For example, just a few hours earlier, my mother in law was coming to get my kids to take them to a big Fall carnival at their church. Might I add, she is an awesome MIL. The kids have been so excited and honestly, so have I because I wasn't going with them! I would stay home. Alone. In my quiet home.
All is going great. Home from school, homework done, kids happy, mommy happier until......
One kid screws it up. Lets be real, sometimes all 5 darling angels, screws things up.
But today it was one. That one child that is going to mess up your 2 hour retreat of peace. It's like they know something is going good for mom.
"hmmmm, mom seems a little too happy about us leaving and getting some much needed alone time for a few hours, maybe I could help change that".
Disciplining really stinks when it affectsus, the parents, and it most always does.
Wills made a D on his report card? I guess he is grounded all weekend and will have to spend every waking hour whining to us.
Owen can't watch TV because he disobeyed, so that means he will more than likely say he is bored constantly and break things.
So back to tonight. I am now at home with a 4 year old (Avery) who is in trouble because she didn't tell the truth. She flat out lied and lied and then lied again about lying. And without going into every detail of the 45 minute excruciating long battle of getting her to finally tell the truth... lets just say it was NOT fun.
Truth: We have disciplined each child the same; in that, we had the same expectations of behavior for each one.
Truth: What worked for one child for punishment did not necessarily work for another.
I remember the days when Owen was younger. He did not care one bit about time out. But, he did care if I took his favorite toy away for a few days.
But with Kate, I could mention the word Spanking and that was the end of any sort of behavior problem.
They are all so different and have each given this mom a run for her money and suitcase so that I could actually really run...far away.
Back to being emotionally exhausted and Avery. You see when you are that tired (5 kids from age 4-11), you just don't care how long they have to sit in time out. I view it as more alone time for me. Tonight, Avery refused to tell me the why of why she didn't get to go to the party, so I left her in time out until she did. You know how long it took?
1 hour and 12 minutes. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I CAN DO IN 1 HOUR AND 12 MINUTES?
In my beginning mommy days, I used to stress about the crying and screaming temper tantrums and the throwing of their limp bodies all around, but now I just step right over the lifeless body and continue on my merry way.
Tonight, I took a shower. A long hot one! I stayed in long enough to shave my legs without anyone coming in to watch me through the steamy door.
I guess my point is, the books are right. If it was easy, they wouldn't have to write a bazillion books on parenting and we could read real literature like 50 Shades of Gray or SHAPE magazine.
I am going to take a gamble and guess that every single mom out there has felt like throwing the towel in when it comes to the same child doing the same behavior over and over and over. We are all in the same Groundhog movie together. One day, your efforts will pay off. One day it won't be Groundhog Day, it will be a new groundhog day with a new battle. Perseverance and consistency will pay off. It has to!
I am holding onto the hope, and I mean I am really holding onto it, that my efforts, my consistency and my